it’s what i do. always have, always will. when i get upset or the going gets tough or a boy really pisses me off, i run. i hang up the phone, i ignore their phone calls, i storm out of their house, i give them the cold shoulder. it’s how i deal. the true test is will you chase after me?
you see, i push your buttons and i try your patience to see just how much i’m worth to you. there’s always a breaking point, where you realize that my stupid mind games just aren’t worth it anymore. that point always comes. but still, i run.
you said you wanted to be friends. really? because in my experience..
friends call you, answer your phone calls, and return voicemails you leave.
friends care when you are going through a hard time and offer help.
friends don’t call each other names like “white trash”
friends don’t not speak for SIX MONTHS over a fight that both people were responsible for
friends don’t hurt their friends.
on all counts, you fail. so forget about being my friend. you’ll always just be The Ex.
i’ve learned that what happens is for the best regardless of how it feels or seems at the time. i’ve learned that love does not conquer all and sometimes circumstance is more important. i’ve learned that if you let someone into your life you have to be just as willing to let them out of it. i’ve learned that i am worthy, no matter what anyone says. and i’ve learned that despite my wishes and hopes, sometimes things don’t go according to plan. thanks for all the lessons, but you are no longer needed.
but i’m cleaning up so well. before you start singing my praises, let’s be upfront about several things. i’m incredibly flawed, and it shows.
- i have this problem where sometimes i feel like i have so much to say so i literally spew words at a million miles a minute and don’t stop to let anyone else talk. and when they finally DO get the chance to talk, i don’t even listen because i’m so focused on what i’m going to say and don’t want to forget it.
- i can never remember if it is “recieved” or “received”. if i didn’t have spellcheck on my computer i would look like an illiterate idiot half the time. thank god for the red squigglies.
- i’m self-centered. i mean, i have dedicated an entire blog to myself. gross.
- now that i’m single i find every excuse to skip makeup, leave my hair in a knotty, messy bun, not work out, skip shaving every day, wear boxers and size xl t-shirts out in public… it’s not so pretty a sight.
- i’m the most stubborn person you will meet. hands down.
- i drink like a sailor… and i have liver problems. logic should kick in at this point and get me to cut back, but apparently i’ve suffered damage to that part of my brain because i still go as hard as ever.
